Personal journeys of loss and grief are explored in our Creative Matters season with events running throughout this week. The season is presented in association with Rosedale Funeral Home and we sat down with Anne Beckett-Allen Director of Rosedale Funeral Home on why they decided to get involved with this season and the importance of exploring loss and grief.
Tell me why Rosedale Funeral Home wanted to get involved with Creative Matters?
I first found out about Creative Matters when I was reading the Theatre’s programme of events almost four years ago and discovered that they were focusing on Caring for Dementia. This piqued my interest, as my Grandad has dementia, and I was really impressed with how the topic was explored so sensitively. I then turned to google to see what other topics had been addressed. I really had my eyes opened to how discussions around men’s mental health, refugees and homelessness could be stimulated through the arts and connections made through creativity.
Why is it important to tackle this topic that is often considered taboo?
Many people avoid thinking about funerals unless they really must – then, at the time of bereavement, they may not be best placed to make important decisions. Talking about the ‘D-word can be hard. Many people fear death, and when conversations are initiated by a person wanting to discuss their plans for their funerals, they are often shut down with comments such as “Don’t be so morbid.” or “Don’t worry – you’ve got loads of years left in you yet.”
As Funeral Directors, we see the negative impact that can come about when families are ill-prepared to organise the funeral when a friend or family member dies. When simple decisions have not been considered, such as the choice between a burial or cremation, let alone talk of venue choices, religious content and financial impact, then we are often at the coalface of the family fall out and witness first-hand unnecessary conflict and confusion.
For this reason, we encourage people to seek out the information they need, help them find it and actively support them to define their own funeral wishes before they die – it just makes sense.
One of Rosedale’s key values is to break down taboos, dispel myths, encourage conversations around death and dying, and stop this burying of heads in the sand.
We had tried for many years to encourage members of the public to engage with us in conversations about death and dying. Unfortunately, however, events such as opening up the doors of Rosedale for open days during Dying Awareness week and hosting funeral planning events had been met with very limited success, and we weren’t really bringing about the change that we had hoped for.
I’m a great believer in trying new things, as the old adage goes – if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the same results, and I was keen to explore new ways of encouraging conversations around death and dying, loss and grief which the Creative Matters team at the Norwich Theatre has certainly helped us to achieve.
How do you think creativity can help people dealing with loss and grief?
When we launched the first part of Creative Matters, we explored personal journeys of loss and grief with a series of digital events, including performances, creative writing and even a cook along event from the Prelude kitchen to encourage people who are bereaved to ‘Cook for One.’ These events all encouraged discussions and helped form connections through creativity, with some individuals attending everything. I was amazed by how conversations were opened up in new and subtle ways, and we were able to make a real difference. From a personal perspective, I attended the creative writing workshop run by Lewis Buxton, which was really interactive and over the course of two hours, I had explored my own personal grief around the death of my father but in new and creative ways and had also had my eyes opened to ways in which grief can be unique and different for everyone. It was a very special workshop, and as someone who doesn’t feel they have a creative bone in my body, I ended up writing a beautiful and very special poem about Dad, as well as unlocking some precious memories and processing some of my deepest regrets.
Why do you think people should get involved in this new season?
Creative Matters creates ripples in the pond. The Death café, for example, aims to reach out to anyone who considers themselves to be mortal and who enjoys drinking tea and eating cake, which is basically all of us.
There is something for everyone, and we have even included a memory-making workshop for those who have experienced the loss of a baby. There’s also a show about ‘depression and death – an intimate and absurd exploration of wanting to live, wanting to die and what can happen if we sit together with the dark.’
The hope is that everyone who attends will learn something new, challenge their thinking, and even be surprised that they will laugh, enjoy themselves and be entertained. Then we hope they will go home and talk about what they did with a friend who may then mention this to their parents, who may then talk to each other. If it makes a difference to just one family and their experience of arranging a funeral, then it will be worth it, but we have a feeling the ripples will be far-reaching impactful and continue for many years to come.
